Why my Third Husband Will be a Dog

Why my Third Husband Will be a Dog by Lisa Scottoline

Adult Nonfiction 813.54 S


In need of a good laugh? Or a whole bunch of good laughs? Then pick up a copy of this book. I guarantee you’ll feel much better very soon. Lisa Scottoline, award-winning author of several suspense novels, is also a very witty columnist. This is a compilation of her columns, which feature a lovable, humorous cast of characters including Mother Mary and Daughter Francesca, along with her thoughts on such topics as Spanx, ex-husbands (“Thing One” and “Thing Two”), and lessons learned from Archie comic books. The chapters are short, the wit is quick, and the overall experience is one of pure pleasure.

The Time-Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England

The Time-Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England by Ian Mortimer
Adult Non-fiction – Upper Level – 942.03 M

The title might say most of it – but I’ll elaborate a little more. To start with, Mortimer picks just one century of the middle ages, the tumultuous 14th century, home to Chaucer and the Great Plague and my favorite fashions, among other things. Rather than the standard approach of looking at the important people and events, he talks about what you’d need to know if you were actually to go to fourteenth century England as a tourist. What would the landscape look and sound like? How should you behave and what should you wear so as not to offend anyone? How do the different types of people live and eat? I found that I had to skip the detailed chapter on medical care, though that depends on your personal tolerance level. Still, so many aspects were covered and wittily described that I found myself engrossed and frequently wanting to share. Alas, my love decided that he wanted to read the book as well and so would not let me. Mortimer also discusses the philosophy behind his approach – reminding us that these were real people who shared a basic humanity with us and whose actions continue to affect life in modern-day England (this is explained in more detail especially in the legal chapter.) It’s unfair, he says, to call a fourteenth-century housewife dirty because she doesn’t clean with antibacterial wipes – our cleaning methods will probably seem ineffectual in 700 years, too, but that doesn’t mean that either we or the hypothetical housewives don’t care about cleanliness. There’s a lot to enjoy here both for the history buff and the re-enactor, and the annotated end-notes give even more commentary and jumping-off points for those who want to take it further.

Sylvester and the Magic Pebble

Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
Picture Book Shelves - Lower Level - STE

A sweet donkey named Sylvester Duncan has a very happy life with his mother and father. One day he finds a beautiful red pebble and soon discerns that it is magical. As long as Sylvester holds the pebble, he can wish for anything he wants in the whole entire world. How exciting! Sylvester can’t wait to get home and tell his parents about this amazing find.

Unfortunately, on his way home Sylvester faces danger and wishes to become a rock. Now he can’t pick up the pebble and wish to become himself again. Thus, Sylvester is a permanent rock for the foreseeable future which sends him into a depression. In the meantime, his loving parents worry and wonder about what happened to their beloved Sylvester. They look for him high and low and inquire of all of their neighbors about Sylvester. Nobody has seen him and when the searchers visit Strawberry Hill and stumble upon the rock that is now Sylvester neither Sylvester nor they can communicate with one another. What will Sylvester do to solve his problem? Is he stuck as a rock forever or can he somehow become himself again?

Told in many words which may be unusual for a children’s picture book, Sylvester and the Magic Pebble which is written and illustrated by William Steig, is extremely interesting and heartfelt. It accurately conveys the deep love that exists between children and their parents and the extreme excitement of finding a way to have all of one's wishes granted. Furthermore, the art work within the book is spot on in terms of conveying the character’s emotions and reactions. In fact, this classic picture book won the Caldecott Medal in 1970. I highly recommend this picture book to anyone who loves children’s literature and even those who normally don’t read children’s books. It will make you feel good!

Suspicions of Mr. Whicher

Suspicions of Mr. Whicher: A Shocking Murder and the Undoing of a Great Victorian Detective by Kate Summerscale
Adult Non-Fiction-Upper Level 364.1523 S

Who killed three-year-old Saville Kent in 1860? Inspector Jonathan Jack Whicher was called in to find the murderer. He suspected a family member, and investigated each thoroughly. Convinced that it was Constance Kent, Saville's teenage half-sister, Whicher publicly blamed her. With little evidence and the shock and distress of the family and community against him, Whicher gave up and went home. Five years later, the killer came forward. A sensational trial followed, and Whicher was vindicated. This is fascinating historical true crime with all the trappings of a great who-done-it!

Showgirls, Teen Wolves, and Astro Zombies: A film critic’s year-long quest to find the worst movie ever made.

Showgirls, Teen Wolves, and Astro Zombies: A film critic’s year-long quest to find the worst movie ever made.
by Michael Adams
New Book Shelves - Upper Level - 791.437A



When coming across the title of this book one might ask themselves, who in their right mind would willingly watch a years worth of terrible movies? Then on top of that, who would read a book about someone watching a years worth of terrible movies? Of course the simple answer is that people spend money watching terrible movies all the time. How else could “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” make over $800 million dollars in worldwide grosses or shallow, cliché, cash grab schlock like “Valentines Day” make twice its domestic budget? That being said, the films included in this text are so singular in their horridness they make Michael Bay look like Francois Truffaut. There is something to be said for that special gem of abused celluloid, something akin to watching a car accident. You really shouldn’t look but it’s that twinge of curiosity that keeps you wondering “just how bad is it?”

Is it for example “Troll 2” bad?

Unfortunately for author Michael Adams plummeting to the bottom of cinematic depths is far worse. Thankfully, Adams trudges away in this masochistic quest with good humor while gaining insight from those involved in these misfired endeavors. From Sylvester Stallone’s soft core porn debut, “The Party at Kitty and Studs” (no, the library does not have this film, and no I will not order it for you) to Vanilla Ice’s fantastic “Rebel Without a Cause” reinterpretation “Cool as Ice,” Adams leaves no crappy movie unwatched.

(What a coincidence, I've got the same pair of pants at home!)

So why read a book about someone watching a years worth of terrible movies, besides the fact that you wouldn’t have to be forced to watch them yourself? What it comes down to is a love of film, even the worst ones. Of course the fact that some are so bad they are unintentionally hilarious doesn't hurt. Ultimately, it’s the need to understand how and why these films got made in the first place that entices the reader to push on. Plus the sheer joy of watching something crash and burn can be its own reward. I mean it doesn’t take a “Superbaby Genius” to figure that out. (And no I won't be ordering that movie either, although we do have "All About Steve" so that should suffice.)

Living Dead Girl

Living Dead Girl by Elizabeth Scott
Teen Zone Fiction-Main Level – SCOTT

Living Dead Girl is a very chilling novel by Elizabeth Scott, narrated by a 15 year girl named Alice. Alice has spent the past 5 years in captivity after being kidnapped on a school trip. Alice obeys everything Ray says and lives in constant fear that he will make good on his word and harm her family. She is the second girl that has been kidnapped by Ray and she knows that the first one was murdered when she outgrew her child like body at the age of 15 and now Alice kind of wishes her own end would come soon. Ray has another idea in mind, he wants Alice to find her replacement and teach her all the things that he enjoys. Then they can live as a happy family. The story is a very quick read (170 pages) and quite disturbing but is hard to put down because once you meet Alice you want to see if she becomes free. The story seems like it could be taken from real life similar to the stories of Jaycee Dugard and Elizabeth Smart.

When You Reach Me

When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead
Youth Fiction - Lower Level- STEAD

When You Reach Me is Rebecca’s Stead second novel and the winner of the 2010 Newbery Medal. It’s 1978 in New York City and Miranda lives with her single mom in small apartment building. Miranda’s best friend Sal lives just one floor below her. Miranda’s favorite novel is A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle and she carries a very tattered copy of the book with her wherever she goes. Miranda enjoys science fiction and time travel but she is not sure that it is possible until she starts receiving unusual letters. Miranda is plagued by strange events that start taking place during her sixth grade year. First off Sal gets punched on the way home from school and will not talk to Miranda anymore. Then Miranda starts receiving strange letters from an unknown person. These letters confuse Miranda because they are cryptic and some of the events referred to have not happened yet. While all this is taking place Miranda (along with Richard her mother’s boyfriend) is trying to help her mom prepare for being a contestant on The $20,000 pyramid. You learn about the different people that live on Miranda’s block, once Miranda learns the truth of the mysterious letters everything seems to come full circle. This is a wonderful novel by Rebecca Stead and very deserving of the Newbery Award, there is an intriguing storyline plus just the right combination of reality and science fiction to keep the readers enthralled. Once you have read and enjoyed When You Reach Me check out Rebecca's Stead debut novel First Light.